Only a mothe r could love this liver
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
