Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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