You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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