Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
