take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
