i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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