So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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