hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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