he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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