That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
