hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
