you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
