who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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