Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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