If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
