You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
