you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize