WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found the puke drawer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
