A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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