Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
