so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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