Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
