1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
