Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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