i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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