is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
