its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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