8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
