your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
