the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
