why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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