She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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