A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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