I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
