the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
