so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
