so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
