you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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