I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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