Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize