It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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