I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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