What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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