I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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