well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
