i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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