I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
