I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
