I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
