will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
