My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
