So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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