I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
