you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
