Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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