My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
