You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
