he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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