her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize