I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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