But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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