I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
