After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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