Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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