Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize