You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
