He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
