i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
