Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
