the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I need to align my fucking chakras
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