I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
