Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
