There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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