where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want to make out with him forever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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