Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
