That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Two words: blizzard sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
