U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
