If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And then my night got REAL pukey
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
