This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
