I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
