yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize