Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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