They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
