you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize