..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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