Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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