she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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