She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
