just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
